As the world of academia becomes increasingly polarized, parents may be concerned about sending their children off to colleges where the general culture and ethos of campus are less than favorable to the worldview and way of life found in their own homes. Yet, many of these institutions are also prestigious and hold promise for success in one’s professional career.
How, then, should parents think about sending their children to such institutions? How should students, who have decided to attend them, approach their time there? Fly under the radar? Be an argumentative warrior for what they think is true?
To help us think through some of these questions, we welcome Nate Gadiano, Executive Director of The Heights Forum. Drawing on his experience as an undergraduate at Princeton and a graduate student at Notre Dame, Nate shares his thoughts on engaging with academic communities and cultures that differ from one’s own upbringing.
This podcast discussion was occasioned by a recent talk given by Mr. Gadiano for a group of parents, in which he discussed how parents can prepare their children for different college environments. In that talk, Nate gave seven principles for engaging with others in a fruitful and friendly manner:
In the end, Nate’s message to students as they prepare for college is contained in these words: be careful that in winning an argument you don’t lose a soul; be careful that in winning a friend you don’t lose your soul.
Chapters
Also from the Forum
Parenting from Fear: On Reasons for Confidence with Alvaro de Vicente
The Man Fully Alive: On Our Vision with Alvaro de Vicente
When to Fight: On Fistcuffs and the Peacemaking Protector with Kyle Blackmer
Finding Mentors After Graduation: On Find Your Six with Pat Kilner
On Preparing for Bad News: Raising Men Who Can Handle It with Dr. Matthew Mehan
Parents love their children and desire the best for them. Yet at times the world seems full of dangers and obstacles to a child’s ultimate good. Because of this, a certain fear may cast a shadow on the ways parents relate to their children.
To discuss parenting and fear, we welcome back Mr. Alvaro de Vicente to HeightsCast. In the episode, Alvaro explains some of the dangers of being overprotective and parenting from a sense of fear. Rather, he encourages parents to prudently discern moments to give their children the space for making the right choice on their own, which of course means that they also have the freedom to make a mistake. At the same time, Alvaro offers advice on optimistic and formative ways to say “no” to one’s children, when such is necessary.
As Alvaro reminds us, gratitude for the good received helps one to make positive decisions about the good to be done. If families make intentional time to remember and give thanks to God for the goodness in the world, parents and children alike will be naturally drawn to that Goodness from which the world came.
Chapters
Also on the Forum
Parental Authority: Our Role with Dr. Leonard Sax
Discipline in the Classroom: The Art of Order with Colin Gleason
Friendship for Fathers: Living and Teaching the Art with Prof. John Cuddeback
Parenting: Patience or Optimism with Andy Reed
His Anxiety and Ours: Confessions of an Anxious Parent Who Happens to Be a Therapist with Alex Berthé
In the past twenty years, research suggests that parents are worrying more about their children and spending more to provide them with comforts. In spite of such worry and wealth, the past twenty years have also seen an increase in these same American-born children from well-to-do families being diagnosed with various psychiatric disorders. Meanwhile, parents tend to swing from overly strict to overly lenient. Balancing love, both tender and tough, is a difficult art.
To help us dive deeper into this parental task, we welcome Dr. Leonard Sax to HeightsCast. In the episode, Dr. Sax discusses his book, The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups. Drawing both from the wisdom of the ancients and the insights of modern science, Dr. Sax explains the importance of parental authority in raising children. Besides discussing parenting authority, he also offers thoughts on the importance of culture and schools, urging parents to consider carefully and choose prudently the school to which they will send their children.
As Dr. Sax reminds us, authentic freedom is not mere license, and if children are to be free in the end, they must, at the start, have the right amount of parental guidance. To give too much freedom too soon may end in the very loss of the freedom which one would have hoped to give.
Chapters
Recommended Resources
Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Dr. Leonard Sax
Why Gender Matters, Second Edition: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences by Dr. Leonard Sax
Also on the Forum
Discipline in the Classroom: The Art of Order with Colin Gleason
Carpool: Making Commute Time Good Time with Kyle Blackmer
Friendship for Fathers: Living and Teaching the Art with Prof. John Cuddeback