On this week’s episode, we discuss technology with Mr. John Beatty, IT director at The Heights School.  While in past episodes we have spoken about smartphones, social media, and other forms of digital technology, in this episode we turn our attention particularly to the use of the internet on desktop computers.  

As always, our aim is not merely to put up walls and make rules, but rather to help our sons grow in freedom.  Our sons are not machines to be programmed, but rather humans to be formed; and this means that their intellect and will must be engaged.  In the end, we want to graduate men who are prepared to embrace all that is good in the modern world, and so it is important that they be capable of using technology well.  

To this end, Mr. Beatty offers advice that is not only technical, but also human:

1. What are some overarching themes parents should keep in mind as they begin to introduce their children to technology? 
   1. Computer security is not perfect; a filter is insufficient. 
   2. It is important to consider the human aspects of technology use. 
   3. A relationship of trust is fundamental. 
   4. All things in due time; it is important to consider the age of our children. 
2. What age would you begin to introduce your child to the internet? 
   1. Need to see the internet as a tool, not a toy; introduce it according to need, not whim. 
   2. Important to keep the computer in a public place
   3. Important to help them to use this machine, just as we do when teaching our children to drive.  
   4. It can be helpful to have different accounts. 
3. How would  you introduce more freedom when the child reaches middle school?
   1. Use parental controls as guard rails to help them,  as they grow in virtue.
   2. Teach them to use their time well.
   3. Helpful to have the default setting be more locked down and then add things as needed.
4. How do you approach the transition from middle to upper school?
   1. Remember that filters and walls will only prevent around 80% of negative content. 
   2. Parents have the responsibility to be attentive to their children’s computer use.
   3. As they grow, you can increase their freedom, just as one does with driving a car. 
5. Is checking our child’s accounts a breach of trust?
   1. It is important to build relationships outside of negative rules. 
   2. Think of the internet as analogous to eating. 
6. How should parents who are not technologically savvy approach these questions? 
   1. Helpful to use physical metaphors.
   2. Google is your friend.
   3. Ask other parents for help!

Also on The Forum

Virtuous Use of Technology with Mr. Joe Cardenas 

Digital Minimalism with Cal Newport 

Computers and Technology in Education at The Heights by Michael Moynihan

When is Your Son Ready for a Smartphone with Mr. de Vicente 

When is He Ready for a Smartphone with Mr. Alex Berthe

We have often heard it said that parents are the primary educators of their children.  Among others, we find the seeds of this idea in Cicero, for whom nature herself has instilled a “strangely tender love” for one’s children.  It is likewise hinted at in Aquinas, who referred to the parental care of young children as a sort of “spiritual womb”.  More to the point, just over half a century ago The Church herself, in Gravissimum educationis, has reminded us of this fundamental fact: “since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most serious obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators.”  For this reason we view education as a partnership and as a co-conspiracy for the good of the boy.

In other episodes we have discussed the role of parents as educators of their children.  Similarly, we have considered the school’s side of the great conspiracy for the good of the boy.  We are aware of our duties, of how we sometimes fall short as teachers, and of our obligation to rise and fight to the end for the good for the good of our students.

In this week’s episode, we shift our focus to the role of parents and their duties towards school and community in the educational partnership.  Alvaro responds to the following questions:

1. What is some general advice for parents when they enter into partnership with a school? 
   1. Enter the partnership wisely; know what the school is about. 
   2. Enter the partnership fully, without eroding any piece of what the school has to offer both curricularly and extracurricularly. 
   3. Stay on task when your child encounters a difficulty; the goal is education, not pain-free comfort. 
2. What is the general relationship between parents and their child viz. the school? 
   1. The formation of the whole person 
   2. Avoid advocating and over-protecting 
   3. Conspire with the school for the good of the child 
   4. Match the culture of school and the culture of the home. 
3. What is the task of parents as co-partners with the parents of their children’s friends? 
   1. It is important to know the parents of your children’s friends
   2. Take an interest in your son’s friends not merely as a group, but as individuals. 
   3. Work together with your son’s friends’ parents
4. What is the role of parents viz. their child’s teachers? 
   1. Be a matchmaker: strengthen your son’s relationship with his teachers, just as his teachers should support a child’s relationship with his parents 
   2. Clarify with a teacher if there any question about what is happening at school
   3. Be honest with teachers, providing information that you think would facilitate his work in the formation of your child 

Show Highlights 

• Parents and teachers: the conspiracy for the good
• What a school can hope for from the parents in this benevolent conspiracy
• What is the general role of parents? 
• What does that actually mean for parents to be primary educators?  
• Parents’ task with regard to their relationship with son
• Parents as co-partners with other parents 
• The role of parents as partners of their son’s teachers

Also on The Forum

Family Culture with Mr. Alvaro de Vicente

On Home as Social Hub with Mr. Tom Royals

Ways to Foster a Family Culture by Mr. Alvaro de Vicente

Creating a Culture of Learning in the Home by Mr. Alvaro de Vicente

Parents as Primary Educators by Mr. Michael Moynihan

“The Talk”: On the Role of Schools and Fathers with Mr. Michael Moynihan